Now That I Have Cancer, I Am Whole by John Robert McFarland

Author:John Robert McFarland [McFarland, John Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-7407-8715-7
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2011-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Now that I have cancer, I don’t keep score.

… I’m learning to be silly.

I MAKE UP SILLY songs and silly jokes. I use my time in silly ways, like juggling and working picture puzzles and building model airplanes. My imaging and visualizing and daydreaming are silly. I’m amazed by the world.

I didn’t used to be silly. I was responsible. I was efficient. I was productive. I was serious—deadly serious.

What’s the difference? Silliness is much more responsible and efficient and productive, that’s the difference. Being serious is what’s really silly.

I could do serious imaging about weighty matters, and people I don’t like, and injustices that make me angry, and how the world is going to the dogs, if it hasn’t already. I know how to do serious thinking about great problems for which I have no solutions.

I used to do that serious kind of visualizing. I imagined what I’d say if someone did something nasty. I argued with imaginary opponents about angry issues. I awfulized the breakdown of the car or the death of a friend. I anticipated getting caught in a traffic jam or in the slow line at the bank. I spent a lot of time being serious. It made me sick. Now that was really silly!

If we’re silly, however, that means we’re serious about being healthy. Norman Cousins found that when he laughed at the silliness of the Three Stooges, he began to get well. Serious medical people said that was silly. Wasn’t that silly of them?

At the very least, silliness keeps me from thinking depressing thoughts, the sorts of images that lower the numbers of healthy agents in the body. Prayer is the same way. If I’m praying for myself or for others or for the world, even if the prayer is doing nothing else, it’s using up my mind and energy so they can’t see images and think thoughts that are negative, that will make me sick. Of course, some people think prayer is silly, too. They’re right, of course. Prayer is silly, and silliness is prayer—and they’re both good for us.

When children begin to have too good a time, adults say, “Now you’re acting silly,” or “Don’t be silly!” I think adults are jealous of children. We aren’t allowed to be silly, so we don’t want them to be, either. “Get that silliness out of your head, child. Be serious. Be mature. Live a life of drudgery. Show how adult you are by getting sick and dying young.”

I read the results of some medical research on two identical hospital wards with identical patients. The patients in one ward recovered better and faster than those in the other. The only variable was that the ward that did better had student nurses and the other one didn’t. “Those silly, little student nurses,” as one head nurse described them to me. They were silly enough to be enthusiastic, to believe their work made a difference, to trust that their patients really would get better.

Attitude makes a difference. Silliness is the best attitude.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.